Does your Mind Race when Your Head Hits the Pillow?
By Staff Therapist
Does your mind get particularly busy when you lie down at night? Do you find yourself obsessing about the past, worrying about the future, or comparing yourself to others? Do you wish you could just turn your brain off at night?
If you answered yes to one of these questions, you are not alone! Racing thoughts are one of the most common complaints we get.
Why do our minds race at night?
During the day, we are busy attending to jobs, finances, school, responsibilities, and relationships. When uncomfortable thoughts and feelings show up, we quickly find ways to escape them. We might think, “I can’t feel sad right now. I have to finish this project,” or “Let me pick up my kids first, I’ll deal with this worry later.”
So at night, when we are finally still, all the emotions and thoughts we tried to push down come back up to the surface. Our brains decide bedtime is a good time to process everything we have tried so hard to avoid during the day.
We have all used avoidance to cope before. Avoidance can show up in many ways, and we might not even realize we’re avoiding! For example:
Have you ever pushed down thoughts because you believe you shouldn't be thinking about them?
Have you tried to avoid feelings by drinking or comfort eating?
Have you ever minimized how you feel and told yourself “It’s not a big deal”?
That’s avoidance. And although avoidance often gets a bad rap, it holds an evolutionary purpose. We avoid thoughts and emotions we view as ‘negative’ in order to self-protect, allowing us to escape from perceived threats or unpleasant emotions.
It is a natural response to discomfort—but it only works temporarily. What's more, it prevents the real problem from ever being addressed. While those thoughts and feelings are building up beneath the surface and waiting to be acknowledged; they can become more intrusive, more frequent, and more intense. What we resist, persists!
So, what can we do to avoid avoiding?
Turn off the devices. If you find yourself scrolling on your phone when you have racing thoughts, this is avoidance taking over! Apps are designed to capture our attention, keep our brains active, and keep us from falling asleep by making us spend more time staring at screens. Turn off electronic devices at least 30 minutes before bed.
Schedule a “worry time”. Set a timer of 15-20 minutes and give all the worries your full attention. You can write down the thoughts that have been in the back of your mind all day. Notice how you are feeling while writing. This practice can help us attend to our internal experiences before bedtime. Try not to schedule worry time right before you go to sleep. Give yourself enough time to unwind and decompress with some quiet activities.
Cultivate Curiosity. Get curious about what emotions and physical sensations you are trying so hard to avoid. Rather than judging them, gently observe your body sensations. Often, our minds race as a way to try to solve or find a way out of experiencing our emotions. Bringing curiosity to our internal world can help us stop battling our emotions.
Talk about it with your therapist. Still struggling? Make sure to bring it up in your next therapy session. Therapy can be a great place to attend to these thoughts and emotions proactively.