You Are Already Enough: Reclaiming Your Self-Worth in a World That Says You're Not

by Tory Krone, AM, LCSW

Owner of Proactive therapy

I’m writing this from a hotel room after wrapping up two days at a conference for therapy practice owners. The days were packed—rich conversations with smart, passionate people who care deeply about helping others and building something meaningful.

Conferences like this usually hum with ambition. The kind of energy where everyone’s chasing the next idea, goal, system or strategy. But during one of the presentations from a fellow therapist and practice owner, something unexpected happened: I felt tears welling up.

She told a story from her childhood—about her mom, who used to say to her:
"You’re not the smartest. You’re not the prettiest. You’re not the fastest. But you are you. And that is all you need to be. "

As a mom of three young kids, I often find myself echoing a similar message from the children’s show Daniel Tiger: “I love you just the way you are.” It’s something I say to my kids all the time—a phrase I wish I had internalized when I was their age.

And I couldn’t stop thinking about the therapist’s presentation.
Because really—when was the last time any of us heard that message?
Have you ever?

The Never-Enough Narrative

We live in a society that glorifies self-improvement, productivity, and always striving for more. The underlying message is loud and clear: You’re not there yet.

We’re bombarded with these messages all day long, and most of the time we don’t even realize that the same theme is playing on repeat: You’re not enough as you are. You need to change.

There’s always something to fix:

• Your body: Eat more protein, fewer carbs, more meat, less meat. Go keto. No, go plant-based. Do this ten-step skin care routine to avoid looking old. Make your lips bigger and your thighs smaller. Lift weights to tone—but not too much or you’ll “bulk up.” Oh, and tone your arms before summer— but just the right amount. And when your whole body hurts from everything, do this 5 minute routine four times per hourr to help with your forward neck posture which is ruining your life.

• Your parenting: Co-sleeping creates secure attachment—but also, never let your child sleep in your bed or they’ll never learn to self soothe. Be gentle and validating—but don’t raise entitled kids. Prioritize your child’s needs—but take care of yourself too (just don’t let your kids see you on your phone). Be present, be playful, set firm boundaries, and never lose your cool. Be the gentlest parent but firm and sturdy not permissive.

• Your morning routine: Wake up early for success—but don’t sacrifice sleep. Start with meditation, then journaling, followed by exactly five minutes of specific yoga poses, complete a HIIT workout and make your green smoothie (don’t include banana). Make your coffee with collagen or your day will be ruined. Did you forget to prep your overnight oats with chia? Use this planning app to help you remember to do that the night before.

And if you do manage to keep up? The bar just moves again. There’s always another way to optimize, upgrade, or “glow up.”

It’s exhausting. And it’s not just mentally overwhelming—it takes a toll on our self-worth. It can leave even the most confident among us questioning whether we’re doing life right.

We’re bombarded with these messages all day long—and most of the time, we don’t even realize that beneath them is the same refrain: “You’re not enough.” It’s easy to get pulled into the trap of feeling like you’re falling behind—while everyone else seems to be doing more, better, faster.

Social Media and the Modern Nervous System

I know, we all know social media is bad for us and doesn’t fill our cup, we all tell ourselves we want to scroll less and need to put down our phones, but we keep getting sucked in because ugh, algorithms and dopamine. Social media is a major driver of social media anxiety—a chronic feeling of inadequacy caused by constant comparison.

Every post seems to have an undertone of judgment—subtle but powerful reminders that whatever you're doing, it probably isn’t enough.

Even well-meaning content can land like criticism when you're already stretched thin. Our nervous systems weren’t designed for this much input or this much scrutiny.

And when you feel like you're constantly falling short, it chips away at your sense of self-worth and safety.

Disconnected from our Authentic Selves

Here’s the cost of all this hustle culture and the do better mentality: we miss out on what makes us US.

We’re so busy trying to be better, to be more like everyone else that we lose what makes us uniquely ourselves and the importance of simply being..

This is what chronic comparison steals from us—our presence, our self worth, and possibly our authenticity.

So What’s the Antidote?

The antidote isn’t to give up on growth. Growth is a beautiful, essential part of life, but growth doesn’t mean you have to hustle and it doesn’t mean someone else holds the recipe to success that you need to follow.

Here’s how to challenge the “never enough” narrative and protect your mental health:

1. Be a critical consumer of content.

Start noticing how certain posts or time on social media makes you feel. Unfollow, mute, or set boundaries with content that creates anxiety or self-doubt. Your feed should serve your well-being—not erode it.

2. Practice radical self-acceptance

You don’t have to earn your worth by being “better.” You are worthy because you are here. Full stop. Acceptance isn’t passive—it’s the foundation of sustainable growth.

3. Discover ways to connect to your authentic self

When we’re constantly measuring ourselves against everyone else, we lose sight of who we really are—what we value, what brings us joy, and what makes us feel most alive. Connecting with your authentic self isn’t a one-time revelation—it’s a practice. It starts with slowing down enough to listen inward instead of reaching outward for validation.

This might look like tuning into your values, spending time in spaces where you don’t have to perform, or noticing what activities leave you feeling energized vs. drained. Your authentic self shows up in those small moments of clarity, creativity, and calm—the times when you're not trying to be anything other than you.

4. Surround yourself with people who value you as you are and value themselves as they are

Surround yourself with people that reflect back your enough-ness, and people who live as their authentic selves. This will encourage you to do the same.

5. Work with a Proactive therapist

Therapy can help you explore where these beliefs came from, how they show up in your life, and how to build a relationship with yourself rooted in compassion and strength.

You’re not broken. You don’t need fixing. You don’t need to hustle your way to worth.

You’re not the fastest, the smartest, or the most perfect version of anything. You’re uniquely you and that’s enough.

I keep thinking back to that phrase—“I love you just the way you are.” It’s not just something we say to children. It’s something we all need to hear, maybe now more than ever.

Looking for support in slowing down and reconnecting with yourself?
At Proactive Therapy, we specialize in helping high achievers, perfectionists, and professionals navigate anxiety, burnout, and self-worth struggles. We offer in-person sessions in Chicago and virtual therapy across Illinois. Connect with us so we can help you reclaim your well being.